This past year contained an unexpected cross-country move, our first (human) baby, the loss of our first fur baby, a promotion at work, documenting my life in daily vlogs, and so many more life lessons.
As the year closes, I like to look back – to examine the lessons I learned and find a focus for the new year.
This year, I’m using Harvard Business Review’s “Year in Review” exercise. Keep reading to learn more about my year – along with a bonus wrap-up of the books and movies that defined my 2023.
Quiet Questions
HBR starts with the following “quiet questions” to prompt self-reflection. Here’s what comes to mind for me.
When have I learned the most this year?
When my daughter was born! Seriously, parenting has been one of the biggest changes I’ve ever experienced, but I’ve learned so much – about how to take care of a new baby, how to better balance my time, and what’s really important.
More broadly, the most learning has occurred this year when I’ve been forced outside of what I’m used to. I’ve found that it’s only in the situations that are at least a little bit uncomfortable or unfamiliar that growth happens.
What do I feel most proud of?
Okay, I can’t use “becoming a parent” in all of these, so I’ll step outside of that for a minute.
A moment of pride this year that stands out clearly was receiving a promotion at work; I’ve put in dedicated, consistent work and it felt good to be recognized.
Who has helped me be at my best?
My family, without a doubt. My wife and daughter, of course, push me to be my best every day, and I want to do my best for them.
How have my strengths helped me succeed?
Hard work and consistency have been the most important strengths helping me succeed this year. Consistency is one of the most important traits I have – not just at work, but also at home. It’s what allows me to support my wife through residency and keep everything running smoothly in my family as best I can.
It’s also what keeps me taking care of myself – consistency in exercise and in content creation help me maintain good physical and mental health.
What’s the one thing I wish I’d done differently?
I wish I’d spent less time on my phone. It brings a lot of benefit, no doubt – it’s how I stay in touch with my wife while she’s at work and my parents while we’re living on opposite sides of the country. Social media and making content has proved to be a respite in many ways.
But pulling out my phone just to mindlessly check notifications or scroll for a few minutes? That’s something I could’ve done without. I want to be more present in those moments.
Play It Back
Next up in HBR’s review is an exercise that’s meant to be done with a partner; in this case, though, I’m just talking to myself.
What three words would you use to describe the last year?
Unexpected, vibrant, full
What have you found most fulfilling — and most frustrating — over the last 12 months?
If we’re combining fulfilling and frustrating, my answer is fitting in everything that’s important. It’s always fulfilling when I’m able to make time for family, work, exercise, and creative projects, not to mention the smaller tasks like cleaning and organization.
But with so much change this past year – a big move and having a baby, just to name two events – I’ve certainly failed at balancing it all at times. Through the failures, I’ve learned what’s most important (and what to prioritize above all else), and how to course correct going forward.
When do you think you’ve been at your best this year?
Since becoming a parent. I’ve cut out so many of the distractions and time wasters to be able to both spend time with our new baby, and to make the time for other important tasks now that our baby takes up so much time.
What confidence gremlins (i.e., beliefs that hold you back) have gotten in your way?
A belief I held as I started taking content creation more seriously this year was that my videos weren’t “good enough” for people to watch yet. I viewed each video as practice in getting toward my goal – whatever that means. But what if I actually treated each video as something people would want to watch?
That small shift changed so much about how I approached making and sharing my content.
What’s the most useful thing you’ve read, watched, or listened to over the year?
Atomic Habits. For all the self-help books I’ve read in the past, for some reason, I never got around to this one.
I found it at the community library in my neighborhood and decided it was finally time to give it a go. The lessons in the book are all pretty straightforward, but it’s easily one of the most useful self-development books I’ve ever read.
Fast-Forward
The third and final piece of HBR’s self-review is taking the lessons learned in 2023 and applying them to future intentions. Here are mine:
1. One learning goal I will make progress on in the coming year: learning Japanese
2. One habit I will commit to: Making daily vlogs
3. One person I will have a curious career conversation with: A close friend
4. One way I will support someone else: Continue to support my wife’s transition back to work as best as I can from a childcare perspective
5. One mistake I won’t make again: Waiting too long to get started on important tasks (usually the ones I don’t really enjoy doing)
Wrap-Up
That’ll do it for my 2023 reflections! I’m not heading into the new year with any resolutions – I’m actually really satisfied about where my life is at, and any sort of resolution can be summed up by “keep doing what you’re doing.”
But one of my favorite parts of the end of the year is to look back on the music I listened to and books I read. This helps me not only keep track of what I’m taking in, but also reminds me of old favorite albums to give another spin and books to re-explore.
The Music
According to Apple Music, I listened to 87,913 minutes of music in 2023 (that comes out to just over four hours per day, if you’re curious). My top artist this year was the Beatles at 46 hours. I was in the top 100 listeners for a couple of my favorite smaller bands – Oso Oso, Home is Where, and Raue. Finally, my most-listened-to album of 2023 was The Whaler by Home Is Where. Which, un-coincidentally, I’ve also named my AOTY.
The Books
According to Goodreads, I read 32 books in 2023. My goal is always one book per week, but the big move coupled with the birth of our daughter absolutely threw that goal out the window.
Still, there were a few standouts this year. Wanderers by Chuck Wendig (and the sequel Wayward) were the most memorable books of the year. First off, these are absolute tomes, with each audiobook clocking in at over 30 hours. Spending 60+ hours of my year with the characters Wendig develops was plenty to cement them in my mind. It’s a great combination of sci-fi with real social and political commentary – and super relevant in the context of the COVID pandemic.
Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara was another favorite. The book’s tagline is “the remarkable power of giving people more than they expect,” which is a great descriptor of this novel’s core theme. It’s taught me to go one step further in helping others out, particularly at work, and to find joy in delivering the unexpected.
Conclusion
That’s a wrap on 2023. It’s been a special year – of course, the birth of our daughter is the biggest standout. But it’s also the year I started taking content creation seriously and the year I’ve felt the most confident and self-aware. I’m looking forward to carrying over the lessons I’ve learned into 2024.
